My first workshop offering is centered around the topic of using tarot as a tool for "Self Healing". This is because this idea has become a real passion of mine and is at the core as I begin to define more concretely what Crone of Wands is becoming, and what I hope to offer here. In some ways that phrase may be very self explanatory, but I wanted to speak about specifically what I mean when I use the phrase "Self Healing".
Self Healing is when we choose to take an active role in our own healing process. While some of us may not identify as trauma survivors and some of us may not, the truth is almost no one makes it to adulthood without something to heal, because just living in this world inflicts traumas large and small throughout the course of a lifetime. And many of us have been waking up to the importance of embarking on some kind of healing journey.
It is important to acknowledge here the inherent trauma inflicted on POC, LGBTQ fox, people living in poverty or anyone facing oppression of any kind, and I want to acknowledge my privilege in this conversation as a straight, cis, white woman. Coming from that place, I cannot know or speak to that trauma, but want to hold space for anyone who can.
In my own healing journey, as a childhood sexual abuse survivor, what I have found most transformational and impactful, is when I started taking an active role in my own healing process. One of the things I most needed was to take power back after a lifetime of feeling powerless. By choosing to take an active role, we take power back into out own hands, power that has been stripped from us through whatever wounds the world has inflicted.
Self healing does not mean rejecting or ignoring support that is available to you. The need for support and community is wired into our DNA, and we should utilize any support systems we have access to, especially when we are suffering. But we can use that support and still take an active role in our own healing process. We can use that support and still empower ourselves by engaging with ourselves on the deepest level, empower ourselves by changing the way we experience our lives.
Based on my own personal experience, some of the core tenets of this process are deep self inquiry, vulnerability (especially with yourself, but vulnerability with others is very helpful too), and devotion. Tarot is just one tool than can be used on this journey, it is a personal favorite, but there are many. The most important thing is showing up for yourself day after day, and being prepared to dig deep.
I want to acknowledge too that you can only meet yourself where you are. If you feel so hopeless or powerless that you do not feel able to work with yourself on this level, that is a very real state. It took many years of therapy before I was really prepared to meet myself there. I am very fortunate to have access to that care, and I know many do not. But if you aren't ready to work on healing yourself, work with whatever support or care you can find as a place to start.
Finally it is so important to acknowledge that healing is absolutely non linear. We do not take a straight upward trajectory, we do not even take a wavy upward trajectory. Healing is cyclical or, as I often hear Lindsay Mack say, spiralic. I have been saying a lot lately that we do not get better, we just get deeper. But in my own experience deeper is a place worth being.
(Originally posted on Instagram 6/10/18)